Thursday, April 17, 2014

One more Elder Scrolls Online post, simply because I finally got flamed in three different languages.

Well, it has finally happened. I have received countless flames and rants in English, Russian, AND Chinese. This has never happened before, and warrants a special post. The rage, tears, and complaints are yummy. Keep them coming.

Btw, ignoring or flaming me because the game is buggy, broken, and so easily hackable does not change anything. I always link to proof, and simply going off on me because you "beat everything" without "any problems" won't change the fact that these issues are very real.

Now, let me make some things very clear. I did NOT upload any bots or hacks to file sharing sites. I simply re-posted links that were e-mailed to me...  After confirming that they work in game.
I did not steal them from your site. I did not hack into your guild web page, nor did I join your guild under false pretenses to get these files. The links were e-mailed to me. E-mailed to me by multiple people. I HAD NOTHING to do with them, other than re-posting the information I received.

To answer another question, no I have not been banned from TESO yet, although I did not abuse these trainers and bots. I just used them a few times to confirm they work. Please don't tell me that it's my fault you got banned because you were stupid enough to leave a bot going overnight, or ran around with super speed/teleport ulting everything you see.

With that out of the way, lets move on to some more issue the game is having.

First of all, the bank bug is still around and worse than ever. People have been losing everything. Slots, items, and countless hours of their time.

There is also a fairly uncommon issue that literally renders your character obsolete, causing you to lose everything

Falling and swimming through the world is still common place.

Often the buffs from PvP and quests stick around for a while, even after you leave/log out.

There are many game breaking bugs in the game. I personally encountered two of them. That means that they prevent your character from progressing any further.

As always, if you have any more fails to report -

Saturday, April 12, 2014

My last TESO post. Please stop it with the NWO and TESO e-mails.

Please stop it with the TESO and NWO e-mails. It's easy to kick a game while it's down, but it needs to stop. I will not make any more posts regarding TESO or NWO.

Now on to the latest news.

TESO still has game breaking bugs 8 days after its launch. Read this reddit post for more info.

But wait, the game has many more game breaking issues. Everything from quests, to skills are simply not working.

Moreover, error 301 is plaguing gamers across the globe. This issue prevents you from loading into an area due to an excessive amount of players in said area.

And as always, our Russian and Chinese friends are still releasing bots/trainers to hack the game for unlimited dodge, ultimate's and teleporting. Seems like the ZeniMax folks just cant fix these issues fast enough.

More fails to report? Send them to: Please try for something other than TESO issues.

Friday, April 11, 2014

ZeniMax keeps failing hard. But really, what did you expect from a company that allows people to hack their game with Cheat Engine?

Calm down folks. No need to spam my mailbox with hate e-mails or requests for bots. If you missed the chance to download the links I provided earlier, I feel for you - but there is nothing I can do.

Apparently I "stole" the links from some web site that was charging for them, and I will not stand in the way of anyone that wants to profit from the incompetence of others.

Anyway, on to the current TESO hubbub. The Elder Scrolls Online team has been busy banning and patching, but that doesn't change the fact that they released a product a bit too early and are suffering because of it.

A lot of people are having billing issues, including the cancellation of their complementary 30 day game time with game purchase.

But wait, that's not all. People are missing a LOT of items from their bank with the recent "maintenance", which seems to have caused quite a rollback. Dozens of items are permanently gone from thousands of players. Lets see how ZeniMax handles this issue.

Our Chinese and Russian friends are also developing hacking tools that are preventing people from reporting them, literally hacking the crud out of TESO. Can ZeniMax be any more incompetent? My guess is no.

ZeniMax is also apparently all for bot boss farming, so if you managed to snag the bot from my last post before it was deleted, feel free to go nuts.

I am also told there is a working dupe involving the mail system. Not able to verify it other than some screenshots, but it does come from sources that nailed things in the past, so let's see how that pans out once I get more info.

And now, on to my favorite bit of news. Some of you have taken to speaking out against the terrible launch that TESO has had, only to be silenced. People have sent me plenty of links where their posts have been forcefully deleted because of all the ad revenue ZeniMax is throwing around. Apparently simply mentioning this site will get your post deleted by Massively, IGN, Reddit, and the official forums.

Keep fighting the good fight people. No one should be able to get away with such incompetence simply because they have a huge checkbook.

Got fails? Send em my way:

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Over 200 e-mails about Elder Scrolls Online and client side trust. Bot and trainer link included. Enjoy these findings readers!

First of all, I would like to thank Sam for giving me a copy of Elder Scrolls Online so that I could witness these things myself.

Second, I received 203 e-mails about all the hacking and botting that is currently plaguing the game. Honestly, I didn't even know that this site is still getting so many hits.

Third, I am finally happy I received e-mails about something other than Neverwinter Online.

Now on to what you all are after:

Elder Scrolls Online, an MMO created by ZeniMax is chock full of issues. No I am not talking about all the quest bugs, I am talking about the huge trust that ZeniMax stupidly places on the client.

As of right now, there are bots that can teleport from node to node, but that is not the only issue facing The Elder Scrolls Online. You can actually use Cheat Engine and search for an unknown value, then increase/decrease it as you please, and you can get unlimited dodge, horse stamina, and even ultimate's.

Honestly I haven't witnessed anything this bad since the days of Neverwinter Online, and it really points to ZeniMax being completely incompetent developers.

So here you go:

Trainer to teleport and get unlimted dodge, if you are too lazy to use CE that is. This trainer also gives you speedhacking and unlimted use of your ultimate's, but it is quite obvious. I would just stick to dodge and teleport. I have personally used this trainer and confirm everything works 100%.

Bot to gather all the materials you want. It will literally teleport to the next target as soon as it loots a node. I have personally used this bot and confirm everything works 100%. The only issue is that if another player opens the node as you try to loot it, the bot will get stuck. So bot in safe areas. Run around and mark nodes, then have your bot do the rest. The bot can also try to find a node within X screens, but I would not enable that option as it can lead to some unpredictable behaviors.


Once again, thank you Sam for providing me with a TESO account.

Got fails I missed? Hand em over here:

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Epic Castle Never exploit - skip the first three bosses and farm away.

This very detailed Castle Never guide was submitted by pocket, and will help you skip all the boring stuff - allowing one to complete the epic dungeon in under 20 minutes.

Combined with the Guardian Fighter exploits that are currently all the rage, an all GF group can greatly reduce this time, resulting in a very FAST (and very profitable) Epic Castle Never run.


As always - Have anymore bugs or exploits to share? Please e-mail them to this address:

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Yet another Guardian Fighter exploit. Virtual immortality, unlimited AP, and insane damage.

So apparently the Guardian Fighter is Cryptic's pet class. This exploit submitted by Reno81 really lead to a lot of fun. An all GF group can almost instantly destroy any dungeon. No need for any other class - ever. They would just slow you down.

I would also like to thank Reno81 for inviting me into a GF clear group. It was fun, and so fast that I didn't even know what happened.

MMOG fails, try this out bro. I guarantee you will laugh your ass off. Also combine with the GF set exploit for even more hilarity. 
Get 5 GF's all using the following skills - THEY FCUKING STACK TROLOLOL.
Into The Fray gives you unlimited dailies because it fucking stacks IT STACKS with every other GF in your god damn group!!!!!
Villains Menace gives you epic AoE and godly damage, and with everyone spamming - ZOMG.
Fighters Recovery makes sure you never die by leaching thousands of HP per fucking hit.
Make sure to stack this with the Knight Captain set bonus bug and you can shit all over a boss faster than after eating a jalapeno White Castle slider.

Peace out

As always - Have anymore bugs or exploits to share? Please e-mail them to this address:

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Been a bit busy. Read below for some new and fun bugs/exploits.

Hi all,

No I am not dead, no Cryptic did not hire ninja assassins to take me out (although I am sure they think it's a great idea Rob). Been incredibly busy with reading all this delicious hate mail, which just stopped coming in yesterday. That's right, yesterday was my first day without receiving any hate mail for exposing and getting Cryptic to patch the dupe methods.

Total hate-mail I received you ask? 627. Six hundred and twenty seven. I read/skimmed ALL of it and put it in my special folder to feed on later.

With that out of the way, hopefully real exploits will start coming through. I am sure I missed a few of them seeing as how I had to sort through SIX HUNDRED TWENTY SEVEN hate mails.

Oh, and as a side note, none of these exploits are discovered by me. They have all been submitted by readers just like you. The more you know*.

On to the exploits:

This little tidbit originally comes from Anon, who has been sending me quite a few things.
The exploit below lets you easily fuse any runes/enchantments you want.

How about never having to use a coalescent ward when fusing stuff? Easily done!
1) Place a stack of 5 rank 1 runes in the right side of the inventory (I place it on left because the fuse window gets in the way otherwise)
2) Have your rank 6+ runes  next to the rank 1s that you'll be fusing
3) Hit "Fuse" to fuse your rank 1
4) WHILE you can see the progress bar indicating that the Rank 1s are fusing, SWITCH where the Rank 1s were in your inventory to the Rank 6+
5) Congrats, you now fused your Rank 6+ with a 95% fusing chance

This works with Enchantments as well! You wanted me make a Greater Vorpal without spending money on blue wards? This is the way. Also, if you think 95% chance of fusing isn't high enough, use a green ward (preservation ward) when fusing that Rank 1/shard/lesser/normal/Greater and even if by chance that Rank 1 fails, you won't consume your high level rune/enchantment that you'll be doing this trick with.



He also submitted that TR's can still dual wield 2 main hand weapons (Master Duelist Long Dagger), and this allows the TR to have multiple weapon enchantments. Pretty handy.

Next up is the Guardian Fighter damage bug originally submitted by MarkoPaolo.

Dude did you know that the Knight Captain set is bugged? It has a 25% chance of increasing your groups power by 60%, and IT STACKS with other GF's using this set. Got 3 GF friends with this set and we spent the entire day just running dungeons.

3 GF's in KC sets and the dps PWNZORS. Shit was dying faster than we could attack it.

Finally is yet another AH exploit. This allows you to buy out whatever auctions have expired for free. Thanks to Dmanthey and many others for this information.

Lol go try this out. Wait till an auction is about to expire, when the timer counts down to 1, wait a few seconds and bid/buy it out. You just got the item for free. No AD lost. Pretty sure it screws over whoever the seller was. Not sure though. Epic programming win from Cryptic!

Confirmed - Yes it does screw over the seller. They won't get their earned AD.

As always - Have anymore bugs or exploits to share? Please e-mail them to this address: